Sunday, July 02, 2006

Weather Warning

Nanny government has just issued a hot weather warning. We need to wear adequate sunscreen, avoid drinks like coffee and alcohol and drink plenty of water. Excuse me for a moment while I relapse to my Billericay roots. What a bunch of complete tossers! Hey, y’know, there’s this thing that appears regularly on televisions every day. It is called a weather-fore-cast. Thanks for your concern and all that, but despite your efforts to the contrary some of us still have brains and will of our own and can work out what’s going on. Some of us also like to drink beer in the sunshine and you haven’t yet got the power to send your commissars round to stop us doing this, so fuck off and work out how big your next pay rise is going to be!

7 comments:

Bruce Murphy said...

You know, it would be incredibly funny to see some of you trying to cope with a midsummer day on the beach here :)

B>

Neal Asher said...

Where are you, Bruce?

It's like when it snows here, or there's heavy rain. The government and its pet media feel the urge to deliver all sorts of warnings. As one of the guys said on a program called 'Grumpy Old Men': "I'm waiting for the time when some government official phones up to tell me I can take my first crap in the morning."

Alex Cull said...

It's going to be around the 30 degree mark for a while in London & my office's air conditioning is not working properly. Maybe the powers-that-be could do something useful and tell corporations to send their staff home - it would be only humane. Oh, it's good to moan!

Neal Asher said...

Well this blog demonstrates that I enjoy a good moan.

Bruce Murphy said...

Australia. We regularly have visiting Europeans having real trouble adjusting to the concept of 'when it's over 45 degrees outside, you stay the hell out of the midday sun'

It's a learning experience though :)

B>

Neal Asher said...

The top temperature here has been about 32. This apparently warrants a 'Level Three Warning' (Defcon 3?) It's really dangerous apparently. I guess we have to expect this in our weak pampered society.

Bruce Murphy said...

I recall a few years ago, one of Australia's cooler cities had a heatwave of a week over 30 degrees and one or two dozen people died.

B>