Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Roller Trainers.

A boy was badly injured his morning because he shot in front of a car on his wheeled trainers. Questions are being asked. A&E doctors talk of the injuries kids receive whilst using these things: busted bones and cuts and grazes. Health and Safety commissars demand that children wear protective gear and, of course, there is talk of a ban.

Hang on.

Now, as mentioned here in the comments, must parents bubble-wrap their children? Which would they prefer, an active child who risks a busted elbow and the remote possibility of death, or the fat slob slouched in front of his X-Box who’ll need his jaw wired shut or stomach stapled and risks snuffing it from a heart attack before he’s thirty?

Also, if you bubble-wrap your children they’ll never learn to handle the real world, you know, the one where hammers are made out of steel and not rubber, where knives cut, concrete is not layered with foam rubber, cars smash your bones if you step in front of them and where sticking your hand into the wrong part of the machine on the factory floor results in your arm disappearing into the cogs. Yeah, there’s the compensation claims, but they ain’t going to sew your arm back on.


Chris said...

Personally, I find these trainers rather stupid but children need to learn from mistakes which in turn breeds common sense and taking responsibility for one's actions in adults.

Two things that are sadly lacking in today's world: it's always someone else's fault, never your own.

Anonymous said...

So what's the difference between these shoes and a skateboard or roller lades etc? If he was on anyone of those he could have rolled out into the traffic.

To be alive is to deal with risk. If there is a risk, even a small one, then it will go wrong for someone at sometime. But you can't live your life worrying about being that one in a thousand person.

I grew up with knives, occasionally lighting fires, doing stupid things with air rifles. You learn that cuts and burns hurt and getting shot by your mate isn't a good idea. I'm still alive and none the worse for it all.

I've played in mud, been licked on the face by a dog eaten a dodgy burger. Yup I've gotten sick but I never died.

I set fire to my lab coat at uni, spilled concentrated sulphuric acid on my hands, been splashed with a cyanide compound, pissed on by rats and bitten by mice. All risky things but I'm still ok.

We're surrounded by poisons, oxygen itself damages our cells, apples contain poisonous compounds, mustard is carcinogenic as is toast. Starvation is also terminal.

Why does everyone have to fucking panic all the time. Humans are remarkably hard to kill without significant effort.

Kirby Uber said...

more importantly, if the little bugger lives through rolling into traffic i doubt he'd do it again. if he doesn't live, or in fact does spring into traffic again, as the man said... evolution at work.

let it ride.

Paul Swan said...

can I suggest anyone who thinks this an example of evolution in action, check out the Darwin Awards.

They describe themselves as: "The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who inadvertently remove themselves from it". I've been on the website and brought some of the books they produce annually, never before have I felt so secure in my own intelligence. Check them out at

Mercurior said...

qah but if you let a kid run wild they may actually vote for someone else, or gods forbid say thats stupid.

according to recent laws, kids must be protected from themselves, hell even adults must be protected from themselves. they dont give us any brains at all

Neal Asher said...

Thanks Paul for reminding me. I've been meaning to look at that 'Darwin's Awards' site for some time. I particularly like:

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet, didn't put enough postage on a letter bomb, and it came back marked "return to sender." He opened the package and was blown away.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree about overprotective parents and life being sanitised these days.

But a young kid (I think he was 12?) is fighting for his life and probably permanently brain damaged, and you guys are calling it evolution in action? Poor taste, and unnecessary for the discussion.


Paul Swan said...


I don't think anyone is rejoicing in the serious injury of a child. Maybe you've missed the bigger picture behind what we're saying.

My perspective of this issue is that one injured child should not a blanket ban or media campaign make. Posters to this thread are decrying the media response to one unfortunate accident. Something most of us feel is a growing and worrying trend.

The language we are using may seem in 'poor taste' to you, this is unfortunate and I'm sorry for that, BUT it is a by product of the way many of us feel about the "nanny-state" mentality. Please try to remember "sticks and stones"...

However, The Darwin awards DO rejoice in the way stupid people remove themselves from the gene pool. They also agree with you and strictly forbid stories about children or adults who injure bystanders.

in the words of the immortal Bill Hicks...

"The world is like a ride in an amusement park and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and around and around and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud. And it's fun - for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question; is this real? Or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, and they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because... this is just a ride."

Neal Asher said...

Nick, yes, it is a shame about what happened to this boy. However, the post was about the REACTION of the pc-prick society to this incident. Try to stay focused. ... unless you're just looking for an excuse to be offended, which isn't that unusual.

Anonymous said...

Very focused, and not offended - the Darwin Awards are hilarious! - it was just Kirby Uber's comment "if he doesn't live, or in fact does spring into traffic again, as the man said... evolution at work" that got my back up!

I completely agree that the reaction to it all has been over the top - it's not society's job to protect us from the real world. And ridiculous to suggest banning roller trainers... you'd have to ban rollerskates, skateboards, bikes...


Kirby Uber said...

i'd hate to have it suggested that any comments i've made were deliberately made as flame bait *cough*


but the comment does stand. one really shouldn't play in traffic. for what, i feel, are obvious reasons. trainer with wheels, skate board, pogo stick... play in the street, odds are you'll be hit by a car. i'd hope by 12 that thought has crossed ones mind. pardon me if i fail to see what about the above is rejoicing in the event itself?

as for poor taste and being offensive to anyone? well, frankly it's bit late in the game for me to start worrying about that.

if this isn't perfect example of "do something poorly thought out and stupid, pay the price" i can't imagine what is. hopefully next time the offending party will have the good taste to be older, as to not offend the squeamish.