Thursday, July 18, 2013

A Bit Crabby

The thing about Crete is that an Englishman as young as me having a house there is a rarity. There are very few ways an expat can earn a decent living there. Yeah, there are a few that pursue the dream of owning and running a bar but they’re turned over by the Greeks like landlords here in England. And yes there are occasional successes like a couple I know running some accommodation on the coast. But mostly those that can afford a place have retired, sold a house in England and made the move to live on a pension. Most of them are, therefore, knocking on or well past the door marked ‘60’. The other thing about Crete is that unless you are the kind of person that does stuff, ennui sets in, and that hole is filled with things like drink and cigarettes. Combine these two factors and you’ll understand why people all around you have heart conditions, emphysema, stagger along and gaze in terror at steep slopes while wheezing and coughing. It is, at about this point, that they start thinking about maybe giving up smoking and easing off on the booze.


Over the last couple of years I’ve developed a smoker’s cough and have been using Aerolin inhalers too much. However, I can still swim for half a mile or so every day, still cycle for miles and feel I haven’t quite reached the point of no return. I am, therefore, going to attempt to give up smoking.

Prepare yourselves for some right crabby posts here. And I’ll start with noting that if there hadn’t been so many statist prick ‘health professionals’ telling me how I should live, or the campaign of disinformation on passive smoking, or the constant denormalization of smokers by those attempting a bit of social engineering, I might well have made more attempts to give up over the last few years.


Jimmy Devine said...

From a purely selfish point of view, it's good news, there is the chance you will be around longer now, and thus keep writing, and entertaining me, and feeding my war drone addiction.

That said, the traffic ain't getting better here in the UK, so look both ways as well will you!

Good luck with the quitting.

Neal Asher said...

Damned right about the traffic. Coming back from Gatwick we had the pleasure of that circular car park called the M25 for a few hours.

Jimmy Devine said...

They need to double deck it, no one's giving up personal transport anytime soon.

Bob Lock said...

Good luck and well done Neal, perhaps if I show this post to my wife Anna she might be persuaded to try too. Each time I bring up the subject she retorts with, 'well your favourite author, Neal Asher smokes and I don't see you nagging him!'

MonkeyBiscuit said...

Good Luck! I always enjoyed reading the smoking / anti smoking... erm... 'banter'? ;)

Anonymous said...

Good luck,

Just embarked on the process myself and bugger me am i moody sod at the moment!

Also why do all nicotine replacements taste like crap???

KJ Mulder said...

Good luck! It's tough, but can be done. Quite a few members of my family used to smoke, but have managed to give it up.

Perhaps you can conjure up a nice bloody interstellar war for therapeutic purposes. :)

Phil M said...

And I thought Vrell would be a cigar smoker!

robann said...

Everyone I know who has given up has the same advice - give up drinking for the first couple of months as well. If you associate drinking and smoking then once you've had a few you'll light up.

Good luck!

Karen R said...

Neal , I agree completely about the british in Crete - I feel like a proper young whippersnapper when we are there! On the igiving up smoking thing, i can thoroughly recommend Allen Carr's "Easy way to stop smoking" - completely painless and ive been fag free for 9 years now! Best wishes to you and Caroline
Karen & Barry

Conan the Librarian™ said...

A Prador.

With a fag.

Neal Asher said...

Bob, that'll only make her more hostile. I think the reality is that a switch just has to click over in the mind. I often wonder if the 16% who manage to give up on NRT would have given up without it anyway.

MonkeyBiscuit, that won't change much since my opinion of statist, righteous social engineering pricks has changed not at all.

chuBb, I quite like the liquorice flavoured gum...

KJ Mulder, unfortunately the therapy generally has to be physical action on my part.

Phil M, nah, roll-ups.

robann, being a past master of giving up smoking I know all the pit-falls. Drink weakens the willpower so yes I'm avoiding it.

Karen, I'll look that up though I do wonder if there is an easy way. Generally things that are worthwhile aren't easy.

Conan, you should image search 'crab with cigarette'.