Thursday, February 26, 2009

Alcohol Units

You know, I'd really like to cut down on my drinking, but I've been having a few problems lately. I blame television. Every evening I keep seeing this government sponsored advert for booze. It displays nice frothy pints of beer all ready to guzzle, it shows a lovely glass of chilled white wine, the glass all dewy and its contents utterly tempting. I'm not entirely sure what the numbers written into the dew on the glasses is all about, but never mind. There is a health warning near the end of this wonderfully alluring display of alcohol, but by then it's too late because I've already cracked open a bottle.


Dick Puddlecote said...

Great post. They just don't get it, do they? Images of a perfect drink are exactly how ad men would no doubt suggest turning consumers on to alcohol.

This is the softly softly approach so far though. Soon it will be pictures of diseased livers and cancer, they are following the footsteps of the smoke bansturbators.

A friend has quit smoking since January, but says the hardest part are the constant anti-smoking adverts which remind her regularly what a nice smoke looks like.

David said...


Neal Asher said...

Yes, Dick, it's the same old story. "They came for the (insert whatever)..." It's enough to drive one to drink.

Cheers to you David too, right now with a bottle of Kumala Cabernet sauvignon shiraz at 14%. Always go for a bottle of red at above 13% as it's much much more palatable.

My units this week lie somewhere between 50 and don't give a fuck.

Kirby Uber said...

i don't drink much. likely consume booze maybe less than 4 times a year. but when i do... wooo. look out.

anyway, i totally want a glass of chilled white wine now.

thank you neal, and thank you government of the UK.

i'm leaving work early now to get pissed.


ps. i took tomorrow off too. i know how i drink. i plan accordingly.

Kaz Augustin said...

Ah, you're a man after my own heart, Neal! (Says the woman who considers alcohol to be one of the major food groups.) A world without Scotch is ... well, not worth bothering to even think about, is it?

Shaun Austin said...


I think the numbers are how many of each particular measure and type of drink you are expected to consume before the following ad break.

Or something.

(word verification: statens? Aren't they cholesterol drugs?)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for reminding me!
*pop! fizz.... gulp*

Paul said...

That big '3' means have three glasses doesn't it?

Mmmm nice glass of Rioja or a Tempranillo. I wasn't going to have a drink tonight but you've put me in the mood.

They're going to ban everything slightly dangerous or harmful then wonder why the suicide rate goes through the roof.

Neal Asher said...

Kirby, one mustn't binge drink. I find the best way of avoiding binge drinking is to drink large quantities all the time - cuts down on hangovers too.

Kaz, yes, it is a major food group. It's one of the five-a-day fruit the government keeps telling us we must eat, the also alcohol provides energy, saves on Valium and helps us tolerate the next hectoring bit of bullshit nanny gov comes out with.

Shaun, I knew it would be something like that. So the 3 means 3 of a glass of the size shown, which is about a bottle of wine? I'll try, but I'm not sure if I'll see the end of the evening.

mr-maigo, you're drinking pop!

Ah, confirmed, Paul, 3 glasses it is then. Not sure about the suicide rate, but certainly an increase in the rate of wine bottle suppositories for door-stepping Labour campaigners prior to the next election.

Bob Lock said...

Oh Crap!
Does it really mean three glasses?
I've been drinking three bottles and I don't even like white wine... *hic*

vaudeviewgalor raandisisraisins said...

"I find the best way of avoiding binge drinking is to drink large quantities all the time - cuts down on hangovers too."

dunno if this is gonna be a problem for you, but it does shrink your brain.
i dont see why the govt doesnt doublespeak AND provide booze to keep the bread and circus focus moving along.
my roomate binge drank himself to death in '01. i tried to wake him up. pure comedy!

then my other pal:

he's not in the best of moods not being able to walk easily or go outside (except twice in a few months), pretty aware of the lame situation he's in, considering the circumstances.

ok, have fun kids, be careful. i am assuming you all, being sf readers with incredible precog insight, can n' do.

Neal Asher said...

Vaude, it's a personal choice for grown-ups, wherever it leads. That's what life is all about unless you want to be a member of a hive.

vaudeviewgalor raandisisraisins said...

drinkers hive. you all have grown up choices to keep ya happy, and life goes on==either squeekin' by with the dui to one puke a year, or in some cases ive witnessed not so pretty death. my roomate realized he could drink himself silly and not get a hangover. that led to another plane of unconsciousness. heh.
and the rest of us footing his rent, dealing with his mess, and answering a billion phone calls. thanks buddy!

the drunks i know are running from something, seems to me, imho, to be a cop out. i'm sure things are different in England and.... Iceland. in the usa people avoid/enjoy violence and emotional issues via boozin'.
i've never denied anyone a gift of my drink ticket except one guy who goes overboard before a show, and if he's driving me around after. some folks don't know about 'cut off point' when hopping in the car over here, on the wrong side of the street/pond.

Anonymous said...

Very well! You have defeated my onomatopoeia. I shall drink beer to celibate your victory.

Vaude, being a vegetarian & low carb diets shrink your brain as well. As ways to shrink your brain go, burgers meat and drinking seems to be the best way to do it.

vaudeviewgalor raandisisraisins said...

burgers over in the states are a great way to invite bovine growth hormone, and a healthy lung capacity for mooing.

veggies are ok with b12. prove me otherwise. ive raed a buk.

it wasnt Feersum Ennjin.