Wednesday, January 14, 2009

UFO Aliens Don't Like Wind Power.

I wasn’t going to bother with this one, but I feel I’ve got to put my tuppence worth in. So, a UFO struck a wind turbine. Let’s get something straight to start off with: UFO stands for Unidentified Flying Object. It might well be that a flying pig struck that turbine but until investigators have found the mangled remains of the avian pork it remains unidentified, therefore a UFO.

Ufologists are pretty well convinced there is an extraterrestrial explanation for the incident which saw one turbine blade ripped off and another seriously damaged by a vessel "about 170ft long" following numerous reports of mystery "low-flying aircraft", lights in the sky and, finally, a "big bang".

But of course most people’s understanding of UFO is that it must have been a flying saucer, piloted by greys, zipping around Earth in a flying saucer. And now, since the wind farm has been sealed off by security personnel to keep the loons out, the conspiracy grows.

Alien hunter Nick Pope had a light attack of the Area 51s, telling the Sun: “There may be something they don’t want people to see.”

For fuck’s sake. The nearest star (other than Sol) is Proxima Centauri and it’s 4.3 light years away. Light travels at 186,000 miles per second so to tot up, that puts it at 25,284,000,000,000,000,000 miles away, give or take a few circuits of the Earth. The next star out is half that much again. Now, let’s just consider how a race capable of developing a technology to enable them to cross such a distance might manage to prang their space craft into a damned wind turbine ... driver fatigue?

Damned but there’s some fruit loops out there. But at least Pope redeems himself a bit with:

Pope concluded: “If a stealth aircraft struck the turbine, it may be made of some material which is itself classified above top secret.”

Just a bit of a conspiracy, then.


7 comments:

Swainson said...

Quote:
Pope concluded: “If a stealth aircraft struck the turbine, it may be made of some material which is itself classified above top secret.” Just a bit of a conspiracy, then.


That's one hell of a stealthy turbine.
How can something be above top?

vaudeviewgalor raandisisraisins said...

bad design. one of these things flew to pieces when the regulator gave out in the u.s.. let the germans make them from now on, ufo will stay away from then if they are put together right.

however, it took 2 ufos and 16 christian poultry demons to blow this up at the base, midsection, and within each blade.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u14tBwO5QVQ

pray for wind turbines with me wont you?

Paul said...

I thought these things had charges to release ALL the blades in the event of a failure. To stop the tower coming down if it gets unbalanced.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7nSB1SdVHqQ

Lots of energy in these things

Peter said...

I'm also thinking that the turbine ripped itself to pieces, but no one has found it because there all stupid, blind, or haven't been given the green light by the pro wind power government to tell people that wind turbines can actually be quite dangerous when they fail.

vaudeviewgalor raandisisraisins said...

dangerous? more like really fucking cool.

Neal Asher said...

It wouldn't surprise me if the problem was down to cold finding and exacerbating a metal fatigue or mechanical fault. Either that or a time traveller's materialisation sphere appeared in the wrong place.

Paul said...

The truth

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/01/19/ufo_crash_site/