Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Poor Overworked Old Man, Enslaved and Oppressed.

So here we have Disco Stu's blog where he displays my last two video clips and posts:

Only notice the date! 10 days have elapsed and this author still wears the same nondescipt t-shirt - no doubt not even being allowed to leave the room! His bleary eyes watery and aching from constant work. His legs wasting away and back deformed as he hunches interminably over his desk of confinement.

So now we see the truth of publishing! 10 days later and what was ostensibly a video blog can be seen for what it really is - a cry for help!

Can you not hear the clink of the manacles hidden below sight while I slave away at my desk - manacles that are tight around my swollen sledgehammer-broken ankles?
Bloody hell, I didn't know it was a fashion show. I've now got to check which shirt I was wearing in the previous video clip when I do a new one. Or, alternatively, being me, perhaps from now on I should ensure I always wear the same T-shirt in future clips!


Graeme. said...

There's only one solution - TOPLESS !!

Sci Fi needs more of the laydees anyway - and how could they resist that !

Roger said...

*muahahahhahaaaaaa* :-D

Jebel Krong said...

^ haha rofl ^

very funny post and replies :)

i would have simply thought you'd done both videos the same day, without checking further... 0.o

Sean said...

Neal, I'd go with wearing the same shirt. It works for Neil Gaiman and Steve Jobs....

However, are you really going to let Stu get away with calling you a graying old gent?

vaudeviewgalor raandisisraisins said...

naked, the writer's casual 'i'm not going out today' look of choice.

fashion is for robots.

Unknown said...

Oh boy. I'm deeply sorry for all this, Neal. My big mouth... :P

Anonymous said...

So, Neal, who is your Annie Wilkes? Your wife or your publisher? Is that office real or a set? Are you just kept in a giant warehouse with all the other writers, pecking away at a keyboard in between feedings?

Also, that Years Best SF 8 that you held up in the last video is where I stumbled across your work! Anthologies are one of my favorite ways of finding new authors.

Disco Stu said...

Graeme - Great to think that hordes of hotties would get into scifi after stumbling across a semi-nude Asher video blog.

Sean - I can't believe I got away with that either. I think his mind is always light years away so I could probably take much greater liberties in fact!

Glad you enjoyed it - I certainly did. Could hardly type for laughing.....8))

Neal Asher said...

Graeme, only when I've lost another half a stone and spent a bit of time in the Cretan sun.

Jebel, the last video was divided into two, because of a telephone call, but I was wearing the same shirt in the previous one. And it had been in the wash!

Sean, I've been greying since I was thirty and I guess now I'm fifty 'old gent' isn't too bad. It's better than 'grumpy old bastard'. Anyway, it's not good for my writer persona to go round nutting people.

Agreed, Vaude, though not my kind of robots.

Nuno, I'm very forgiving of people who read an enjoy my books.

spaceoperaghost, my Annie Wilkes is in my head.

Stu, 'hordes of hotties'? More likely hordes of people trying to get the clip banned.

Mr Maigo said...

Hahaha, perhaps you should buy some $100 shirts that you can only wear once?